September 2, 2019 - Tony Vakka AVH

Life is simple,

we often make it more complicated though, 

so we do with relationships.

I had several ones, some long term, others shorter. 

When they started treating me like shit, 

I walked away,

I still had some dignity left. 

They always came back, 

but when they did,

it was too late.

They never fully appreciate you while they've got you, 

they do, instead, once they've lost you forever...


They often mistake kindness for weakness: 


Remember, never begging for love, 

never give it for granted, 

who doesn't respect you, 

doesn't deserve you, simple! 

Be in love with yourself and your own freedom, 

no one, no one will ever love you as you can do, 

always treat yourself, 

your inner balance will come to you naturally, 

you can't force the events of life, never! 


Be proud of yourself, 

always remember where you came from, 

where Your life journey started and also where you’ve gotten, 

the person you are now and the goals you’ve reached,

the fight between pain and happiness, 

fails and victories, it's part of life,

it just makes your way more interesting.  

You’ll always understand it later on, 

you're stronger than you can imagine. 

Check the answers in your deeper side, 

it’s there the place worth it to look for…


“Love is like a blossoming flower,

it often grows inside us without a reason or warning,

You must know when to pick it fresh,

before time takes its course and its petals fall at the mercy of the wind,

they stop just for a moment between a gust and the other,

chasing them would no longer make any sense."


1 June 2019 - Tony Vakka AVH

Remember the burning kisses, 

the taste of a blooming and dissolute love, 

Deserted walk of lit streetlights 

Drives the steps of a bitter return, 

A new day is born and a returning past, 

Hands in your pockets and low eyes, 

Useless words, while your thoughts go crazy, 

Sweet soul, tormented soul, lost soul. 

Around you the emptiness of a repeating farewell, 

So many times, too many times, once again …     


A car passes you by, then silence, 

Dawn is here with its timid lights, 

Kissing the shutters of aligned windows, 

The lifeblood for young lovers, 

It is a placid Sunday among white sheets, 

For a love that dies, 

A thousand others are reborn, 

A thousand others will rise again, 

Perhaps time forgives, 

But your heart refuses to listen, 

Maybe later, not now, not yet ...  


Destiny is written on those basalt slabs, 

Just follow the road to the end or tack, 

It belongs to you, 

It is in your hands, 

New sunbeams dry the pain of salty tears, 

You will soon be stronger than before, 

That love will live in the eternal memory of his absence, 

On the path of your existence. 

Yes, maybe one day, but not now, not yet, 

Yes, maybe tomorrow, not today, not now, not yet ...


August 15, 2018 | Tony Vakka AVH

Oh, Juliet, Juliet ...

Blooming purity,

Fairy pride,

Rub the eyes,

Heartbreaking the detachment from your beloved

Nectar your tears,

Burning embers does not extinguish,

Breath that accelerates,

The pulsing hope.


Sleepless nights for You, Romeo

Fleming of desire the senses.

Your heart is beating kindness

It freely goes her window to stare.

Your dearest bride offended honor

You only tried to avenge.


Glowing source, crystalline

Married magnets now distant,

In Siena, the case has already decided.

Between torment and dream,

Its cruel course will put to an end.

Love by the infamous  renegade,

by soul never denied.


Desperate the flame is burning,

On the way to Alexandria,

Of consecrated couple

Secret happiness,

Defeat on his pendulous body,

Disturbing her crying,

The extreme greeting never was given,

The deadly rope at the neck sinking,

Within the walls of the convent,

The nefarious will fulfilled.


Oh, Romeo Romeo ...

At the news of your gone darling,

Cursed the statue finding,

The reason to live no longer you’ve,

With her now it's your desire,

Separated no more you cope.

The fatal destiny has you divided,

In eternity It will then unite.

If Siena has forgotten,

Forever Verona will remember.


Guilty the Corsairs of the mocking fate.

A sent letter that never arrived,

Egypt now so far away,

The candor of a muddy idyll,

Time then settles and forgets,

Chronicle of young lovers,

Amor in stone carved

Memory non-dormant anymore.


8 February 2019 - Tony Vakka AVH

I left my born land without looking back,

I could never have been what the people around me wanted me to be,

I pursued within me that scent of freedom I now love to surround myself with.

Although late,

I then realised that I would have to share my days with intervals of solitude.

Everything has a cost.

I didn't have any god there ready to protect me.

I have never had one!


I no-stop pursued moments of happiness.

I learned how to smile and use my body to reach them and obtain Beauty.

Like a butterfly,

From one flower to another,

I shared and brought warmth into a forgotten number of beds.

I saw the colours of my wings fading and then turning on fire.

When I’ve listened to my essence,

It was already too late.


I pursued Love in every gaze crossing my path.

And when I surely believed to have it in my hands,

Vulnerable at its touch,

I found myself alone and silent,

Lost in the sound of the waves of the sea under the shimmering stars.

After staring at my empty hands,

Naked in front of the mirror,

I tried to count my scars and figure out if I was the problem.


I finally longed for my inner peace,

Abandoning myself to the soothing power of music and the therapeutic introspection of poetry,

Through which I've tried to understand the meaning of life and the different stages of existence.

I did not find a single answer,

Perhaps many and none,

Finding myself again then,

Confused and gaunt.

To stop thinking about it,

I loaded a backpack on my shoulders and then I started wandering,

Feeding my eyes of History and Beauty,

The only relief to the torment of my soul ...


30 December 2018 - Tony Vakka AVH

It is not the blue of the sky, 

Nor the green of the sea, 

It is the colour of your eyes, 

What I prefer more than anything else.

For them, I've lied.

I'd still lie.

Even in front of God, I swear it!


26 December 2018

"Music is a union between soul and divine.

The dance interprets and exalts it with refined and sensual movements of the body.

His footsteps inhale life and intoxicate the senses. "




When the sun dies,

And it seems all gone,

Close your eyes, 

Pull your shirt off,

Let yourself go,



Dance in the dark

Dance in the dark.


When a heavy rain pours down,

When you feel inadequate,

Believing you're lost forever,

Show them pride,

Inhale and resist, 



Dance in the rain, 

Dance in the rain.


When soft grass is under your feet,

When they don't stop staring at you,

Wanting you hopeless,

Surrounded by hatred alone,

Turn them your back,



Dance on the grass,

Dance on the grass.


The stars are watching you,

You know love, 

You know what sorrow is, 

You've failed repeatedly,

Close your eyes,



Dance with the stars,

Dance with the stars.


Lasers give you the right charge,

Get rid of the heavy burden,

Feel the blood flowing fast,

It's a life impulse,

Fight back from the dark,

Don't stop, dance!


Dance with the lights,

Dance with the lights.


Look around,

The air smells of jasmine,

Your heart bursts into your throat,

Your sighs are breaths at this time,

You're incredibly alive now.

You're a survivor!


Dance, dance more, dance again...


16 July 2018 - Tony Vakka AVH

I've cried for you bitter tears to fill a whole lake.

I've laughed so much later to contaminate the whole sky with happiness.

I've been sung for so long and loudly that I confused the direction of the waves of the sea,

freeing myself from the weight of rancor.


I've smiled behind a tear,

moved by the sight of a child's purity,

while he lovingly offering me a touch of his ice cream.


Life takes away and returns in a game without a break,

just spread your arms, welcome it, and then let it do.


30 June 2018 - Tony Vakka AVH


My name is Sara, Sarah Parker,

Sarah with the H to be exact!

I’ve been around for a long time.

I know every slab of this sidewalk,

Every tree on this long avenue.

I often talk to them in the dark,

Some are friendly,

The others are less sociable,

They tell me stories from the past,

While the silent moon is listening,

Among the stars punctuating the summer night.


Sometimes the wind tries to confuse their buzz,

But now I can put their words in the right order!

Then, even the most reluctant ones tell me of new loves and lost ones,

They carefully spy and listen to young lovers,

When secluded in silence, they seek intimacy between boughs and leaves.

They whisper to me of events shaking the foliage in rustlings.


They have crows and blackbirds for friends and other strange creatures,

They exchange and share secrets with them

Then leaving them free to rest on their branches afterward.

In spite of dogs that are not well-liked.

If you go straight following the row on right,

Then you slowly stop under the tree number thirteen,

Maybe he will tell you a story too.

Listen to him in silence.


"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl,

There 'a stone's throw from the streetlight,

She used to walk up and down on high heels of red shoes.

Purple her lips,

Pulled back the hair,

A fresh and tender smile for motorists,

High and in evidence her breast.

“Thirty for my mouth, fifty for love!"

Whispering captivating. "


"It happened on a warm night,

While walking, sinuous and radiant,

A fluid and lethal shadow getting it out from a black and shiny taxi,

In a flash, he cut her throat,

Leaving her in a pool of blood,

At my feet, here, at number thirteen,

Without being able to utter her last breath.

So much beauty vanished in a moment and forever.

So young and beautiful!

We do not forget her.

Her name is Sara, Sarah Parker,

Sarah with the H to be exact! "

Flying Soul

4 May 2018 - AVH

“Some nights are not made for staying in bed, 

So the mind goes wandering in a naked body, 

Horse riding on white sand beaches.

Then under a starry sky, 

Chasing the smell of freedom upwind,

While a music of flat waves is playing”.


23 May 2018 - Tony Vakka AVH

When you choose me, you freely do it.

I'd like to forbid you other arms,

But my heart is lying when I give you my consent

and I let you do it ...


Still, I’m staring at your pretty sullen face,

You look so helpless while asleep,

He’s rich who can enjoy in front of such a beauty.


A ray of light in the abstract existence 

of those who run fast without ever stopping,

Unable to listen to the heartbeats with the palm of their hand.

Press softly and listen.


Now that you've put your cheek on my heart,

Forget your useless rancor,

Stop for a moment and let yourself go,

Keep your eyes shut and listen.


Time is stopped and it no longer needs us,

So the soft light of this lamp,

Listen again,

Listen to them in silence.


They are beats of life,

They never last forever.

Listen to them again for a while,

Set them in your mind.

Set this moment in time.


One day you’re going to miss it,

Staring at the sea on your empty days,

While its waves kissing the shore.

It could be your strengh, 

While You shouting my name to the wind.


You have your eyes closed,

While I'm filling mine with you,

I’ve you tight on my chest and I dare not say a word,

I don’t want to wake you up,

Kidnapped by this magic, time evaporates.


Seeing you so defenseless and protected by my wings,

For a moment I forget the energy cyclone you are,

A force of nature that never stops,

You combine and mess around without a break.


I find attractive all you don’t love about yourself,

but woe to tell you it,

I could never do so,

Your imperfections are your uniqueness and I adore them,

While you insist on not liking them.


Still and speechless I’m staring at that pout,

Unable to access your dreams,

But happy to rejoice in front of such a beauty.


When you choose me, you freely do it.

I'd like to forbid you other arms,

But my heart is lying when I give you my consent

and I let you go …


19 May 2018 - Tony Vakka AVH

The mirror is there with its lights,

While a soft music is playing.

One by one the clothes drop on the floor, 

the accurate shaving starts,

trimming my dark beard.

It’s time for a regenerating shower, 

hair and face care to follow.

I gently and slowly dry my body in its details,

then I brush and rinse my teeth.

I try a moody  hairstyle, 

fixing it with volumizing talc and spray.

I wear what is displayed on the bed and 

I’m ready for my Saturday night out,

sipping a sugarfree Red Bull from the straw,

while texting friends … 

If I’m in a really good mood, 

a selfie to be posted on Instagram and Facebook.

The chronically single man ritual repeats itself.

It's my Saturday night.

Have fun, Tony! 


10 May 2018 - Tony Vakka AVH



I made only one mistake.

I exposed myself without thinking,

Looking for you without a reason.

Then it's by chance you became you,

conquering more and more space

With moments of intimacy.



At first, I did not like it at all.

I did not want to believe your words,

Your love MSMs,

The punctuality of your calls,

Your genuine smile,

Your lying eyes.



I resisted for a long time,

Skeptical and thoughtful, I've listened to you,

While you were crazy for me

With your scented candles,

Healthy dishes prepared with care,

The evenings with pleasant conversation.


Slowly I appreciated

The time spent together,

Your constant attention,

Your lively eyes

The shared spot for tidying.

The pale complexion and your body.


The mania of collecting perfumes,

The funny gifts and nicknames you gave me,

The warmth of your body,

The clumsy way of making love,

The infinite sweetness.

Your smooth skin under my fingers.


It was the month of roses,

Suddenly you asked to be just friends,

A shoulder to lean on,

As you have appeared,

One day you were gone,

While the stars lit up in silence.


You did it all,

I made a mistake only:

Let You convincing me to love you,

Maybe I didn't have better things to do,

Perhaps a moment of emptiness or boredom,

Maybe I never really believed it.

So without a reason, 

I stopped looking for you.


29 April 2018 - Tony Vakka AVH

When the sun goes down,

The light runs away, stealing my right side.

It leaves the battlefield to the power of darkness, 

While my left side takes over...

It tightly embraces me,

It cages me.

It invades me.


The room is dark, 

A black snake from the far corner, 

Slowly and sinuously moves towards me. 

He stares at me.

Then he  goes up around my back, 

He finally reaches my neck,

Forcing me to open my mouth.


He doesn’t stop staring at me, 

His gaze has no mercy even if I try to resist.

He gets inside me.

He possesses me. 

My eyes turn into a hunting scanner

through the shadow of the night.

My whole body is wrapped in leather gear.

I feel greatly protected and confident.

Warm desire enrobes my skin, 

My mind is in control, 

The sin is inside me and I’m conscious of it.


Attention from faceless bodies around me,  

They supply my cravings,

My mind is travelling through desert shores,

It’s lost with pleasure.

It makes my eyes roll,

I’m not capable of thinking.

I’m lost in the pleasure of the flesh once more, 

Once again.

Here’s my peak.

I feel great!

I’m the snake!


Then when the body is satisfied and exhausted, 

The night is close to an end, 

I lightly disappear into the shadows,

With me my dark side.

In bed now waiting for the light of a new day, 

With it, my right side is going to take over once again, 

Until next time…in a perennial fight!


23 April 2018 - Tony Vakka AVH

"Even when life is not kind, we try to be happy.

That feeling of happiness is conquered day by day and

Because we struggle for it, it’s well deserved.

That’s why we smile at the new day without ever complaining.”





Rain comes down relentlessly,

It brings music and leaves life.

Two floating pieces of wood

are flowing on a veil of a cloudy water,

close to the sidewalk.



Softly they dance towards the cast-iron grille,

between its spaces then they precipitate,

disappearing into the bowels of the ground.

With them also all the scattered dirt,

that people abandon on the street,

and the wind with its gusts accumulates.



The insistent rain sweeps everything away,

floods and drags the rotten that belongs to us.

It purifies and smooths.

It's the magic of its showers,

It forces us to seek shelter and to reflect.

Or perhaps it helps us to release tension,

rejoicing of his warm drops on our skin,

spreading our arms and spinning around,

Once more like happy kids do.



Rain invades and takes everything away,

leaving behind the pungent smell of earth

that exhales from the crashing of its puffy drops,

lashing the dusty summer soil.

it cleans and restores,

except for the pain of the heart and the bitterness of defeats,

those are the object of the flowing time.


20 April 2018 - Tony Vakka AVH

It's a wonderful day,

The sun is still shining,

While I’m coming to meet you.

The air is warm and sparkling,

You're there looking happy 

with a backpack on your shoulder,

A dazzling blonde,

On time you appear outside Kennington station.


The ‘Grey City’ is wearing the colours of an exploding spring,

While the air today tastes of summer.

Everything blossoms at the sight of your smile,

The weighted trees are overflowing with beauty,

And your minty lips confuse me,

Your Czech skin is pale,

your beard light and soft,

While I lose myself in the sweetness of your kisses.


In a while, you’re going to leave,

But I don't want to think about it yet,

The beer bitterness has turned sweet on your lips,

Hot the hands and endless laughs,

Then more laughs,

The bar has dim lights and the clock has no mercy,

His marked time is inexorable.

Laughing together comes spontaneously,

Among the attentive eyes of those present,

Our souls are naked,

The hugs intense and interminable,

As we know time is our enemy.


It’ s midnight,

Soon, you’ll be gone forever,

While I walk you to the tube station,

Your hand holding mine,

Among the smiles of passers-by,

The warm and starry night follows

and loves us,

Our dream has come to an end,

One last timeless hug,

Then only emptiness around me.


For us only a few days of illusion,

Then just beautiful pictures of you on Instagram,

To be stared at moments of melancholy,

Remembering the winning moments.

Maybe one day our roads will cross a second time, ​

We'll be a solid shoulder for each other,

And together we'll laugh once more,

Like two old friends reunited.

The Crown on the Hill - Castel del Monte

14 April, 2018 - Tony Vakka AVH

"There are times when even the sweet notes

of a melody are inappropriate

because silence is the only antidote to the wounds of the soul. “





There on the top of the hill,

Surrounded by the tall foliage of the pines,

There is a jewel,

From the top of its towers,

They can see the sea and chase infinity upwind.


It's said that a giant king,

Abandoned by his queen and consort,

Because by the dazzling beauty of a

noble and unknown knight bewitched,

Distraught and desperate,

He gave up his crown for her sake.


After having removed it from his head,

lying it on the top of the hill,

He left it there in tears.

So he went wandering through those lands

looking for his lost love,

Crazed and consumed by pain.


The gods took pity on that broken love

and they turned that crown

into a perfect lines and shapes volumetry:

“the castle of Eternal Love”.

Anyone who had kissed his beloved there,

The heart of the latter,

he would have conquered forever.

Anyone who had kissed her beloved there,

As a gift, she would have received his heart forever.


In memory of the unfortunate king,

On the spring equinox day,

Young lovers flock to many,

Circumscribing the perimeter

of the small and charming manor.

And in groups of eight at a time,

They climb three of the eight octagonal towers,

resting together right after under the stars,

Donating to each other,

exchanging flowers and kisses,

At the sight of the sea and the scent of the grass.


It’s said that night the king finds his queen,

in the halls, eight per floor and, behind closed doors,

She, repentant and sincere, swore him, eternal love,

Allowing herself to him in the darkness of her rooms.

And so, on the day dedicated to Flora,

Love forgives,

returning to the castle walls for one more time.

She'll fly away then at the dawn of the new day

in the guise of a hawk,

gliding eight times high circles on top of the hill.

Open Letter: "FORGIVENESS"

30 March 2018 - Tony Vakka AVH

Meeting you after all these years ...

I’ve never expected to get

that inner tranquility I felt.

It's strange how I cannot see

the time on your face,

as it hasn't touched

the cuteness of your smile.

Sweet clumsiness and embarrassment,

the same as when you used to do one of yours,

then you didn't know how to come out of it.

I’m suddenly seeing that moment when our paths split

and our texts turned silent forever.

That elusive shyness all yours in looking into my eyes,

same child’s way I’ve been knowing too well on my skin

and that I used to adore.

Our complicity seems not scratched

and the ability to finally be able to talk about us lightly.

Telling jokes and laughing at,

laughing again,

laughing together.

We have not been doing it for too long.

It's nice to have you back here and no longer feeling any rancor.

While you carry on saying you’re very sorry,

while I keep reassuring you everything is fine.

In the beginning, it has been hard without you,

I’m honest, I admit it.

The emptiness you left behind, 

it has been hard to fill in a short time.

I’ve had to work hard on it.

As you can see, though,

I've survived,

a great lesson from life.

All of this helped me grow,

and being the person I am now.

I've tested my weakness,

unleashing some energy I didn’t think I had there,

suppressed in the deepest layers of my soul.

I also have my part of the fault,

I get it all.

It wasn't easy making peace with myself,

holding opposing forces balanced within me

finally reached it with difficulty.

You know, I've finally forgiven myself and you,

I’ve learned how to live with my chosen loneliness I relegated myself

in and where I feel protected,

finding me at ease,

it helped me to analyze myself.

It isn't that bad,

I decide and choose by myself,

a recurring ritual consisting of autonomy and freedom,

but also not shared personal responsibility,

so feeling less guilt than when choosing

or being wrong for two.

Now I surround myself with beauty and young lovers,

who can cheer my nights up and help me to alleviate my shortcomings,

we all have it.

They often disappear right after at daylight,

so I can enjoy my space.

The doubt if a small sign from you,

it would take me there again in your arms and tell you newly, ‘yes',

‘a thousand times yes',

even if it has come to my mind,

you would hardly hear it said from my lips,

I will never say it.

You have already come back once and I've ignored you,

losing you for a second time.

Sometimes I wonder how it would have gone between us

if our choices had taken a different direction.

You were the light on my path,

you appeared at the right time and you lit it up for years.

Emotional intensities exchanged in the sunlight,

I remember it,

all started like a fairytale,

our one.

Then I invented and wrote one for you,

for your sleepless nights.

The days flow,

in my own way, I am happy now,

I think you can see it.

The peace flooding and surrounding me now has no boundaries.

I persevered, but in the end, it’s been worth it.

I have more free time to invest in myself.

Thanks to your absence I resumed writing.

I find it therapeutic.

I write about you, about us and I do it without filters.

I write emotions.

I write about life!


8 April 2018 - Tony Vakka AVH

The gecko is there motionless,

He's patiently waiting to hit.

Careful it's the weaver spider,

No one vibration is lost.

Fly high,

Creature of the night,


Your obstinate concentric circles,

You design your flight charmed by light.


That macabre ritual of death soaked ...



The light from a streetlight,

It's not the moon,

It’s not a star either,

It strongly dazzles and blinds you,

Disoriented and confused,

You dance.

Draw the circles,

Mark them one by one.


Repeating it indefinitely.

Rub your wings,

Death spiraling ...



Challenge the light,

Beat your wings,

Do it again,

Don't stop,

Your shaking and exhausted body.

Vibrate and expand your shadow.

Dance in the summer night,


Rub your wings,

Don't stop,

Until the end that,

for the lack of energy,

Inexorably and slowly it arrives.

In a sweet and warm night,

Her last hug is of death.


3 April 2009 - Tony Vakka AVH

How could I say NO to such a blinking freshness?

You are talking and your words so far.

Looking at your eyes makes my beats faster.

I m sinking into your lips,

Feeling the heat coming up,

Playing silly jokes,

Trying to steal you a beautiful smile.

All the time with You my soul slashes.

Shame, all I can say: 

“How are You, mate?

Are You alright?”

VALENTINA - (Moon Skin)

4 March, 2018 - Tony Vakka AVH

On summer nights,

When the Moon is high and clear,

starry and bright the sky,

Hot and warm the air,

Indulgent is the sin.


A goddess with a silver skin

appears waving sinuously her hips,

Beside the San Carlo theater.

She wears high heels and transparent clothes.

She stops right there,

Between the Maschio and the 'Bronze Horses',

the Russian tzar’s gift to the Bourbon king.


Her gait is punctuated and mean

Her curves made to shake the senses.

distant are the eyes,

Reshaped her nose.

Marked the cheekbones,

Red and swollen her lips.

A brown bob her hair.

The breast is up and soft.

Turgid the nipples,

Marked her rounded hips,

The figure is slender and elegant.

Valentina looks like a hologram,

She reminds the Crepax comic book character.



Rubbed her skin among the car's headlights.

She dazzles with her decisive steps,

The white dress is open on both sides,

It shows off her curves.

The fame of her beauty has spread,

It crossed the Gulf borders,

Car files waiting for her for hours,

While she goes up and down,

Careless and silent.


Beautiful and haughty like Artemis,

shining she stands out on the sidewalk,

She disappears right after among the traffic.

Clients come from everywhere,

Just to admire her.

She shakes and calms,

Then she gets everyone jaw-dropping.



She has a Moon skin,

Smooth and velvety as silk,

Kissed and darkened by the sun.

She never smiles.

Unattainable and seductive,

She wears classy clothes and accessories,

She gives herself away in the car or in a room,

She sells her body,

She sells love.

Hiding the pain,

She sells herself for her own dream:

A woman's name on her passport.


31 March 2018 - Tony Vakka AVH

At the heart of the Spanish Quarter in Naples,

there's a room on the fourth floor

in via Girardi number twenty-six.

The entrance of the building is next to a pharmacy,

the hall is wide and on Sunday it smells of meat sauce.

The black rock ramps are three per floor

and eventually, you get there with shortness of breath.

The floors are checkered in dark colors

and supported by wooden beams vibrating at each step.

The ceiling is high and refined with canvas.

The balcony overlooks the alley,

It has high and heavy shields.

Then if the front terrace doesn't have the laundry laid out,

from there I can see a piece of sea and the blue sky.



There's a room halfway up that steep slope,

at its top left,

In Via Girardi number twenty-six.

Everyone knows everything about everyone.

Mrs. Antonietta is on a look-out.

She's awake at all hours,

and she misses nothing.

A basket goes up and down,

Marlboro cigarettes are the most requested.

There are two squeaky nets in the room,

the mattresses are spring-loaded,

the blankets remind the army ones.

On the walls above my bed,

B&W photos of ‘Sasha Mitchell by Bruce Weber’,

taken from a 1981 ‘For Him’ magazine issue,

beautiful and unattainable like never before.

In the adjoining corner on the other bed,

the photos of a very young and seductive Ornella Muti,

one of them is from the movie ‘The Girl from Trieste’,

she has got her head shaved.



The nights are young and long in the room,

filled with freedom and desire,

bodies cravings out of control,

moans of pleasure stolen from silence,

Solitary hands that often act alone,

while everyone pretends to be asleep.

Crazed hormones belonging to the youngsters,

exhausted bodies whose sap the morning sun regenerates.

Mrs. Antonietta is always there at her window,

she keeps the count of my lovers,

and she doesn't miss any.

She has her favorite one and she's not afraid to say it,

regardless of my embarrassment.

The signs of white nights on the face are barely visible,

the infinite energy of youth keeps them away.

The apartment is crowded,

I often cook so we can have lunch together,

avoiding on the end a big washing up,

while the bathroom is always damned busy.



In that spacious timeless room,

The furniture has heavy taste,

It reminds the WWII and the 50's,

everything is demode’, 

and it seems forgotten over the years.

There's a yellowish patina everywhere and on the stuccos.

The table is huge and studying on, comfortable.

The entrance padded chair has a high back.

Everything there creaks when the sun goes down,

the coffees are very often served,

on the drawing board, the nights are long,

starry and warm those in summer.

Laughs fill the voids of silence,

while the stomach bites continuously.

Empty are the pockets,

so many dreams in the drawer,

loves are however young and beautiful.

Everything is caged there,

It's alive but still in time,

so our stories.

Those who have gone from there know it all too well,

they left  the best time of their lives,

In that fourth-floor room

in via Girardi at number twenty-six ...

LOVE AMONG the OLIVE TREES - (In the wind the Last Breath) -

23 March, 2018 - Tony Vakka AVH

I’ve been looking for you in the wind,

Into the eyes of passers-by,

Among the dimples of a child's smile.

You were hiding among the olive trees leaves,

Softly you were dancing the ‘Pinch' touching your hair

and showing your legs.

You were as beautiful as ever.



I’ve dreamt of you in the sun,

Loving you instantly,

Losing myself right after,

Chasing your eyes,

While the hands quickly ran over the skin,

Crazy crush at the call of the waves

and summer songs.



I’ve loved you in the rain,

Bodies thirsty for the desire that water exalts,

A second skin our wet shirts,

The warm drops on the face and that smile,

Your inviting salty and chocolate lips,

Your blue-sky eyes I fly in every time …



It's night.

You are in my incredulous arms,

Silent intimacy and the lit fireplace,

Soulmate of a wonderful life,

While the stars watching over your rest,

I still wonder how you could have chosen me.

Your hair is silver now,

Your body slim and close to me,

Your eyes are closed,

And I’m the guard of your sighs.



I keep seeing you near the sea,

Among the olive trees where I first loved you,

Now that we’re close to our last journey.

My great love.

My immense love.

I will always follow you,

Where I looked for you the first time,

In the wind the last breath.


2 March 2018 - Tony Vakka AVH

Your eyes are different today, 

I see ice all over, 

Your words are sharp blades on my skin,

I can't see my soulmate anymore, 

Rejection and anger instead.


I know I can't hate You,

Whatever You do or say, 

I forgive You as always, 

I get stitches on my bleeding heart.


Kissing is Heaven, 

Hugs are therapeutic, 

Cuddles a must, 

A night of rough sex and You'll be back,

A night of deep sleep,

You're now back!


3 February 2018 - Tony Vakka AVH


rotating ball soaked in madness,

theater of their own kind traitors,

worshipers of false gods.

Prisoners of a vicious circle,

impregnated with masochism,

that repeats itself in a perpetual motion.

Distant stars in flames.



an arena filled with eager slaves,

in deafening antithesis,

against each other,

submitted to an obstinately repulsive ritual.

An antagonism lost in time,

blood calls to blood.

A thirst that never fails to calm down.



from the outside and inside,

you appear and stay small,

like a seed in the wind,

granule at the mercy of macabre destructive dances.

Core of forgotten life in the universe,

abandoned between the depths of space,

condemned to perennial solitude.



without dreams,

your illegitimate sons,

short their reminiscence.

They alternate destruction,

short and sporadic flashes of lightning,

in an oscillation lost in the darkness,

daughter of immoderate obscurantism.



of young blood still sprinkled,

destroy and then rebuild.

Insensitive to memory,

deaf to the lessons of history.

My eyes are full of tears,

inert witnesses,

my soul is lashed with burning pain.

A blind world, greedy and gone.

Damned world.

A world lost forever.


27 July 2017

Conspirator is the Night,

Assassin the Time,

Embracing the Pleasure,

Sharper the  Sin,

On my way home.


18 February 2016 - Tony Vakka AVH

Warm nights like your hugs,

The sea and the rocks,

The breaking of its waves,

Castel dell’Ovo there, 

Motionless and witness of bravado,

Accompany the dreams and the energy of youth,

The high moon and the scent of lightness,

Precious freedom and crystal air,

Hot tasty oil and almond Taralli,

No end laughs and the unknown future,

The light of the stars by the thousands,

Beautiful and bright like never before:

“It’s Naples sky on summer nights" ...


1 February 2010 - Tony Vakka AVH

“Organza skimpy dressed nymphs will dance in a circle,

under piper fauns eyes, 

bright and full of desire; 

and overflowing bowls, 

praising Bacchus, 

will pass from lips to lips,

like a kiss of communion, 

under the silvery touch of Twilight,

while the melody rising, 

the light gradually gets fading,

the clinging bodies, 

culminating in a spasmodic and vibrant orgy,

collapse exhausted at the evening end right after…”

The NIGHT - (Trilogy of Acts)

26 February 2016 - Tony Vakka AVH

And here it is a wrapping night,

Blankets made of silence,

The sharp ticks and the wall clock.

The emptiness of the room,

The frost of the distance,

The loneliness of the satisfied body.

There Hypnos is ready to hit.



Night, you avoid my chest,

Once a friend and ally,

You deny yourself to me now.

Fearless and treacherous you share the arms,

Cheeks and dreams of another bed.

Fresh and graceful the skin,

Withering, it waits for Aurora,

Dozing at the lack of strength.

A new day is arising,

And I already forgot about you.



She takes over the light,

Everything she kisses and caresses,

Penetrating and modeling ...

She is the night.

Peace and madness,

conspirator and murderess,

Everything she forgives and subsidies.

The exhausted senses she spoons and blindfolds,

Embrace of perdition and ransom,

Heat and affirmation.

The “Ego", the real one, is on display!


15 May 2015 - Tony Vakka AVH

Orpheus, Orpheus …


Beautiful morning, 

Tired and reddened your eyes,

Late you arrive at classes in evening clothes,

Back from unknown young arms and great nights out.


The head down on your notebook.

At intervals, you close your eyes, 

Perhaps abducted by some kind of vision.

Listening to the Restoration lesson, 

You are elsewhere.



That nineteenth-century poet appearance,

Your falling tuft on the forehead and your stubble beard.

Your green twenties, 

Your beauty,

That strength of conquest and your world.


Young magnet, 

You barely look away,

Wrapped by sleep and dreams,

Vulnerable to love more than anyone else.

Your colleagues staring eyes you try to avoid, 

Hardly hinting a sheepish smile.

The girls surround you and you gently listen to them.



Orpheus, Orpheus ...


The sun and shyness in your eyes,

The night and freedom in your heart.

Cocky, often taciturn,

Loveliness is all around you, 

Fallen angels and infinite sweetness.


You explore loving the pleasures of sex,

Burning heart,

Hidden purity,

The accomplice nights and the rocks,

The flat sea and the stars are all your friends.



Orpheus, Orpheus ...


Transforming everything you touch, 

You invent, 

Undo and recreate,

Then you give your things away as a gift,

“They made me happy”, you think, 

“Now they’ll do someone else’s happiness.”

When the sun sets down, 

Your room becomes a prison.


You get yourself ready carefully, 

Facing the night right after,

Sweet adventuress of a repeating ritual.


Restless youth, 

You dare and do not accept defeats,

You love in full with no reserve,

Listening to your heart, 

Ignoring your mind.


The marks of your mistakes on the skin,

You do not care about the sarcasm and the gossip,

Prone to feelings, 

The intimacy’s pleasure you pursue.



Orpheus, Orpheus ...


In which part of the world are you now spending the winter of life?

And with whom are you sharing my memories now?

That kiss not given, 

Desired and never dared.

I love imagining you happy and surrounded by beauty,

As the one at heart and feelings have no age,

Rather they radiate invading all those around you.


15 May 2014 - Tony Vakka AVH

“I don’t pursue Poetry, 

She comes to me like an atavistic dance, 

She reaches me in concentric circles, invading me. 

She imposes and impresses herself on me like a burning stamp. 

I have no choice: 

My skin stiffens and my soul melts … 

All I can do it’s passing on you all her words, 

Byzantine restrictions of an endless flight. 

I am not worthy of her choice, 

I love her Beauty though, 

Confined to my world and delighted in getting her message.“


27 February 2016 - Tony Vakka AVH

You’ll tell me about yourself,

The bench is there in the park.

I confess you my fears and my cravings.


Off the joint, the hunting begins.

My eyes in the night are lasers on the prey.

You stare at me, surprisingly, delighting my needs.


I satisfy your fantasies and my selfishness.

Scent of living flesh and paved grass,

Accomplice the bushes, the skin vibrates.


Your smile is disarming,

the breath accelerates.

A gasp. The lust is placated, vibrating.

The night is alone.


A passer-by exchanges few words to a lady with her dog.

The usual question, an only whispered answer:

“He’s the crazy man of the bench!”


18 August 2015 - Tony Vakka AVH

A man in exile,

White his beard in a distant country,

He has never stopped loving you,

Sadic his mind turning to idyll.

Scarred and offended your art and history,

In chains,  young vestal, you wait.


It's undeserving and greedy,

The flesh of your flesh,

The blood of your blood,

Refined your features,

Sad your smile,

Your face does not deserve it.



Loved and sung your shores,

Rude people forgot it,

Queen without kingdom,

Of music and sun,

You fed the world,

Unlucky mother, 

Bandits and outcasts you welcome.



Ah, new dark times!

Youth, here and there, 

Immolated in your name,

Forgotten and alone, 

Of beauty disfigured,

Green and melancholic custodian,

Colours of freedom flaunt,

Your ungrateful sons, you forgive.

AURUM APULIAE - (The Battle of Cannae)

28 August 2017 - Tony Vakka AVH

Olive trees in rows,

Weighed down by the fruits,

As Roman legionaries,

To shield Hannibal’s troops.

Deployed on the plain side by side,

One behind the other,

Ready for the sacrifice and stop the enemy’s advance,

Burnt land, 

Where the sun gives no respite.


Between silver leaves, 

Metal reflected in the Favonio,

Human screams echo at the sound of weapons,

In the heat of August, 

In Canne,

Gnarled trunks gripped like athletes’ bodies in the struggle,

An embrace of perdition and death.

Rough the bark,

The fighters, 

The skin marked by the sun, 

The battle.


New branches like arrows embedded in the living flesh,

Silent they wait,

Dumb witnesses of crushed limbs,

So their fruits at the mill,

Young blood flows absorbed by the Mother of all Mothers,

So their thick juice on the white stone, to be preserved

In terracotta cruses in her bowels sheltered from daylight.

Spilled oil, 

More blood flowing on the flatland:

Roma Caput Mundi.


Golden Apulia, 

Land of conquest and love,

The stubbles are burning, 

So my heart.

Fly high falcon, 

Take me with you,

Seize the horizon until the last soldier, 

Last beach,

Settles its flat waves,

Observe and go through its white lime villages,

Embroideries inlaid on that green and fertile table.


Shore of Diomedes,

Peace and beauty,

Glory and history,

Dreams and new loves place,


Swabia’s home,

My homeland.

SUMMER RITES - (A Prayer for the Sun)

21 June 2015 - Tony Vakka AVH

Kiss me Sun,

My only Lord,

I'm singing for you!

Feeling your heat,

My skin goes crazy.


Kiss me Sun,

My Lord,

I'm dancing for you!

My foot speeds around in a crescendo.

My prayer exhales.



Kiss me Sun,

My only Lord.

Give me new sap and youth!

My arms are open to you.

I’m welcoming your rays on my breast.



Oh Sun,  Sun, Sun!

Accept my devotion!

I consecrate you myself on a flower bed.

to my last breath!

FOGGIA - (Eternal Lady of the Plain)

31 July 2015 - Tony Vakka AVH

The eye of a child,
cropped his hair,
A handful of lucent glass balls and his fear,
Alleys and mysteries,
stories from the past,
The Calvario’s Crosses and Filippo’s treasure.


Warm and pink the stone,
Fascinating and radiant,
Cathedral and Veiled Mother,
Lady of the piazza,
Glamourous and majestic appears.


Chosen by emperors,
Glorified by composers,
Pretty and unlucky,
Bad was her fate,
But of light always risen.


Lost in Times,
Processions and rites,
Fireworks in August,
Tempting and red the watermelon.
Fresh and joyful walks on the avenues,
The scent of limes,
Mistress the night on the way home.


Table delights,
Ready Morpheus,
Bright is the sky,
hot her nights in summer,
Distracted facing the Gargano,
wild orchid,
You, Foggia, 
Eternal Lady of the Plain.

GODOT - (Those Times)

17 February 2017 - Tony Vakka AVH

You crossed me several times on my path.

Sometimes you stared at me, penetrating my soul.

Other times, distracted, you passed by.

More times, you pretended to ignore me,

observing from a distance every little gesture of mine.


More than once you have danced with me,

next to each other,

preferring the other to me.


Occasionally you tempted me from afar,

when I dared,

you stopped me.

I yearned for you in the darkest moments,

instants of consciousness without limits and memory.


I walked over inaccessible footpaths

and closing my eyes, I traced your scent.

I loved it when looking for you,

wearing plain black, 

I lost myself in esoteric cocktails.

You were there when, from the clifftop 

I was staring at the waves breaking violently against the rocks,

chasing, instead, the cry of seagulls.


I loved you madly when I shared with you primordial rites until drained,

and then, cowardly, turned my back on you.

I see you now, there, patiently waiting for your time,

you will strike unexpectedly and inexorably 

right during the most intense breath of happiness or weakness.

I will not be able to deny myself.


22 October 2015 - Tony Vakka AVH

Oh Cupid, Cupid,

Damn Amorino,

who knows in which remote corner of the sky,

you're getting drunk with your other cronies, cherubs,

addicts of idleness,

potters and pranksters,

regular attendees at Bacchus banquets.

Forgetting your duty towards us, simple mortals, 

insolvent, ungrateful dodger,

grinning sneers.


You've hit with your arrows,

all other parts of my body,

maybe inspired by Sebastian?! …

You deliberately missed my heart,

damn little archer.


Oh Cupid, oh Cupid ...

Damn toddler, come back here right away,

leave your wayward companions and their wine glasses,

wear your bow and quiver and fulfill your duty.

Yet, you still stagger,

falling between cushions moving away from my hope.


Cupid, Cupid,

I hope you’ll be cursed forever!

Damn you!… ending up in the underworld,

unworthy as you are to sail the skies of the Universe!


18 October 2016 - Tony Vakka AVH

I’ve walked the paths of oblivion to get lost in your skin.

Once again I’ve got lost in artificial paradises.

I've dreamt of beaches without horizons.


I’ve used my body to savor peaks of glory, 

I’ve denied it when blinded by pleasure, 

I've listened to my darker side.

I've found myself alone and without a soul,

Silences that seemed eternal on dead-end roads.


I’ve felt pain in my living flesh,

I've invoked gods with no kingdom and without any result.

I’ve followed clouds of starlings changing shape; crazed,

My spirit joined them in vain fading then into twilight.


Crazy, aching, burning and tormented soul, 

Why have you ever untied your wings?

Why did you stop flying?

In chains like Prometheus,

You seek and wait for the end that does not come.


21 June, 2017 - Tony Vakka AVH

They are four sisters, 

the daughters of Temi and all are beautiful.

Originally there were three, 

then by magic, they became four.

And for their father, they had Zeus.


Here's Flora, in love with her Zephyr,

ready for the equinox, 

with organza and flowers adorned.

Her hair in the breeze, 

she is dancing,

naked feet on soft grass,

a flower in her hand.

Smiling, she bewitches you, 

with her scent, she stuns,

fresh and pure beauty,

softly then she fades.


They are four sisters and all are beautiful.


Auso takes over at the solstice in June.

She has the blue sky in her eyes,

the whole sea in her heart,

her skin amber,

her hair streaked with waves, 

clad skimpy clothes.

Fire and music in her soul, 

bare feet on the sand,

temptress of leisure and pleasure,

lady of stars and hot nights,

young loves guard.


There are four sisters and all are beautiful.


Then it’s Carpo time, 

a cascade of red hair,

beaming for the last sun,

the carrier of warm colors and soft tones,

of golden leaves adorned.

Lady of the harvest and the latest crops,

she has bunches of grapes in her hands

and a smile that confuses and calms the senses.


There are four sisters and all are beautiful.


Chione has eyes of ice, 

flakes of minute crystals in her brown hair.

Wrapped in layers of wool she does not show her curves.

Cold, she stares at you as though she has no soul,

mistress of wind, 

rain and snow, 

she loves the freezing sun.

I’ve often met all four,

one after the other, 

never all together.

You will certainly have your favorite, but ...


They are four sisters and all are beautiful!


28 July, 2016 - Tony Vakka AVH

"I’m telling you about the pain of exclusion,

how heavy is the burden of difference 

and mistrust.

Lying to survive emotional misery,

how heavy is the solitude in a caged room by repeating 

and convincing myself that I do not deserve love”.


“Distributing smiles, sick with shame,

feeling inferior and without a future,

rebelling against death or dying to be free?

The weight of not belonging.

Feeling rejected and judged

What do you know about it?!”


"The pain chisels what we are and will be,

inexorable as the artist's stonemason on the shapeless piece of white marble,

stroke after stroke and with maniacal precision.

It leaves scars everywhere visible and not,

that only the touch of time smoothens

like lashings of wind on dunes in the desert …”


6 October 2012 - Tony Vakka AVH

I write verses that no one will ever read,

The mind flies, and it does not bend,

Bach's Violins radiating,

In human nature, elements of self-flagellation.


The meaning of life is its course,

An unrepeatable gift,

To be understood only at its end,

The beautiful Paradise is here.


Time wasted in invectives,

The memory of you will be your only trace,

The time of two or three generations, then Nothing,

A faded name engraved on a marble slab.


18 July, 2015 - Tony Vakka AVH

“I should deserve my curse if lies are in my words.”


"May the gods forgive you all for the evil done to me and people's freedom.

That man will be small,

if, blindfolded and confused by power,

in his heart love is denied!”


"I see black flags wrapping

screams and pain of mothers having their sons killed,

red rivers in full flow at sunset.

Desolation and destruction falling into Earth's bowels in the name of one God;

bloodthirsty warrior.”


"Man versus man in an eternal atavistic feud with no boundaries.

Mother Earth,

poor and inert,

a witness of youth's greediness and blindness,

slimy jesters of a concentric dance of death.”


1999-2000 - Tony Vakka AVH



Once upon a time in a deep a dark forest, lived a tiny small very sad ant.

His name: Arthur.

Arthur cried and cried that in the end a small lake was born.

He had been banned from the anthill and appointed by the Council of the Old Wise to get the Golden Pip back,

which had been stolen with a terrible spell from the Queen’s crown by the wicked Warlock, and used to adorn the

Everlasting Clock of Times.

Without the Golden Pip, the Queen was unable to produce new eggs that would have generated new ants, keeping the anthill alive and prosperous.

But the Good Fairy of the woods had heard Arthur’s weeping. She took pity on him and decided to help him and bring back happiness and joy to the forest.

She called for help from the animals of the forest demanding they put away their ancestral rivalries and unite for the very future of the forest that was at stake!

She called in Sticky the snake, Micky the mouse and Shiu-Shiu’ the frog. 

The beautiful creatures living in Essex.

She would have help for the little unlucky ant!

She shook her magic wand in the air and sooner than they could realize, rendered them invulnerable!

So the three of them started their long journey towards the big Grotto where the stolen Golden Pip was kept in grand secrecy!

Two enormous Dragons were guarding the entrance.

They were as big as mountains and spitting fire in any direction so that the entrance to the Grotto would not have trespassed.

The Golden Pip was right there, exactly in the middle of the Pendulum of all Times.

It was protected by its swinging harms on the top of a huge column in the middle of a dark pitch filled with frightening waters.

They all walked in a single line but then to expedite things, they climbed up on Sticky’s back.

Arthur was in first position on Shiu-Shiu’ tongue, the frog with a French accent, and Micky the mouse immediately following with his long tail well anchored around Sticky’s body.

Whispering in his sneaky voice to hold on tightly. He started his sinuous zig-zag run.

Seven days and seven nights passed until they finally reached the Grotto to soon realize the scale of the danger that was awaiting their mission.

So they set down in council and three nights and three days passed.

At the end, they reached an agreement.

Mickey, the mouse would have to dig a tunnel passing under the Grotto all the way inside and Sticky would have slipped through to protect his mates.

They turned around for a last look at the two Dragons.

Cold chills went down their spines, but then having remembered their supernatural powers that the Fairy had given them, they took courage and moved on into their mission!







For seven nights and seven days Mickey dug, and although exhausted he first emerged from the tunnel before everyone else.

A terrible sight was awaiting him, so much that he almost froze at the fright of the scene.

“All was lost” — he thought - and wanted to run away. He almost turned around to leave.

In front of his eyes, there was a terrible picture of terror and desperation.

The miserable remains of what once they must have been valorous and courageous warrior ants, now laid at the base of the Big Pendulum of all Times.

Powerful reminders of a mission failed by so many!

Arthur shrunk and became even smaller, Shiu-Shiu’ grew pale, but Sticky managed to keep his spirit and started to stretch.

Just like a stick, equipped with two suckers on each end, and functioning as a bridge he allowed his other three mates to cross the never-ending deep waters.

When they all arrived at the base of the column upon which rested the Big Clock of Times, 

Sticky rolled up holding on this time from the opposite end.

He did not even have the time to breathe before he found himself repeating the same strategy, 

this time though, acting as a set of stairs,

his body twisted in angles and vertically stretched so to permit access to the Golden Pip for Mickey and Shiu-Shiu’.

He almost touched it but the not quite.

So Micky suggested Shiu-Shiu’ to jump while being pushed by the muzzle, 

and use her sticky tongue (power that was given to her by the good Fairy) to snatch the precious object.

Arthur was the post.

Shiu-Shiu’ tried two times and two times she failed.

Exhausted and with no strength left, she tried again and this time she succeeded!

When the Golden Pip was removed from the Big Clock of Times, throughout the Grotto and the forest, 

a terrible storm broke out with fenders, wind, rain, and lighting.

The three little mates at once redescended using Stick again, and again on him stretched as a bridge, crossed back those waters looking even deeper and darker than they were before.

Quickly they disappeared in the tunnel dug by Micky and there they remained for seven nights and seven days.







For 7 long nights, storms, tempests, cyclones, earthquakes, and cataclysms battered the forest, 

whilst the two Dragons kept on splitting fire in any possible direction!

The old Warlock of the forest begged the Eternal Wisemen Council to unleash his fearful vendetta!

So he set off, searching for the good Fairy, his eyes bloodshot in deep red.

Having found her standing nearby the anthill, 

he transformed her into a statue of stone and still not happy with such horrible action, 

he turned all the little ants that have gathered there for her protection, into thorns!

Eventually, on the seventh day, his anger finally died out and he fell into a deep sleep.

The freezing wind ceased to blow.

Shiu-Shiu’, the frog living in Essex but originally from Paris, did her best an anti-rain dance, 

that was like a French can-can, and the rain too stopped at once.

Now, almost magically, all was quiet again.

With great circumspection, they all left the tunnel and headed towards the anthill.

They were happy with the outcome of their mission but still somehow disoriented and rightly tired,

but with the precious Golden Pip in their hands at last!

Once they approached the Lake of Tears, 

the spectacle in front of their eyes was one of horrid desolation, freight, and death.

But it was Arthur the little ant, 

showing great courage at once and with no hesitation, he entered one of the access galleries leading straight into the Queen’s chambers.

Exhausted but happy he greeted his companions and swore to them eternal gratitude.

At the end of his run found Salome the Queen.

She had lost a lot of weight and she was sobbing in despair.

Her hair in a mess, but she was still alive!

At once he put back the Golden Pip on her crown and exhausted fainted on the ground.

Suddenly an intense light spread from her crown to the corridors and all the passages of the maze to eventually reaching every corner of the colony.

Bright and full of strength of life, it was bringing back food to everyone.

Salome began to eat again speedily regaining her weight, and the production of new vital eggs started again!

A new generation was to be born.

Out, the new shining sun brought life back into the dying forest.

The animals came back and new and green leaves came onto the trees.

The good Fairy woke up from her long sleep smiling, and happy again she was!

Arthur, our little story hero, wed Salome the Queen and therefore became King of the anthill.

Stick the snake and Shiu-Shiu’, the frog from France, became inseparable friends, 

and the former swore to the latter,

to never eat her even at the high cost of starving himself.

The old Evil Wizard was devoured whilst asleep by the two Dragons that became, 

touched by the first rays of the new sun,

two Imperial eagles and set off driven away by their hunger to the limits of the Time.

Finally, Peace fell back upon the once again, joyful forest and they all lived happily ever after!


28 July, 2014 - Tony Vakka AVH

Hours, minutes, seconds ...

The mind is lost to memories:

Some hurt, 

Others snatch me a smile!


The show goes on, 

Life's fragments running between my fingers.

Each image lives again.

A slow flowing, 

An intense fist in my stomach.


Damn song!

Foggia, Florence, Naples,

Piacenza, Milan, London.

Each stage a conquest. 

Then around the world.


Ungrateful and masochistic mind, 

Why are you wandering alone?

You do not enchant me, 

Go away from my present!

That previous life isn't mine anymore!


A cold shiver running down my spine.

I quickly close the box.

Tomorrow is a full day!

One last glass of red and I'm a spectator!


25 June, 2017 - Tony Vakka AVH

Fleeting nights of sex marking your absence,

A messy bed in the morning showing no memories.

A summer wind gently blowing through the white curtains, 

Mute stars from the terrace, 

Are not speaking of you anymore.


The scent of your skin remains in the room, 

The candor of your eyes is hard to let go.

I’ve lost count of the gin and tonics,

Silence is now part of me.

My exhausted body can't find peace.

White nights, adverse ones, timeless.


The emptiness you left behind, 

Without turning your head,

Has no witnesses.

Love, sweet love, love dear.


My late answers 

To your texts are mute monosyllables, 

And my days are spent without glory.

Your favorite dishes don’t have taste anymore, 

And the candles, 

Now in disuse, 

No longer creating warm atmospheres.


If feelings could be darkened now, 

By pressing the light switch, 

It would be too easy,

They would leave no trace, 

While time, 

Your accomplice,  

Running slowly opposes me.


Your loss kills my dreams more than words.

Love, sweet love, love dear,

Timeless love.

Love, love gone, love lost forever.


18 July, 2017 - Tony Vakka AVH

I think of meeting you, 

As time runs fast,

I want to meet you,

As I see in you what others, 

Blindly can't see,

I come to meet you

As you are like honey under a blue ray.

What are you taking with you, boy?

I will bring you a smile,

My marked clumsiness,

My long silences.


You, questions you will not dare asking,

Eyes full of dreams,

The redness on the cheeks and insecurities.

I will show you new horizons,

Opening my fist

And offering you my hand,

I will give you this key,

Take care of it,

Like a small flame sheltered from the wind,

The alchemy of our moments,

It rarely happens,

Precious as like never before,

I will treasure your eyes,

And I will feel joy at every gesture of yours.

Give me a smile,

One more,  another one…


I’ll wait for you patiently,

As waiting is like fasting,

Purifies and enriches attraction.

One day we will be each other’s essence,

You, the bright light on my path, 

Love, pure love, blooming love.


July 5, 2017 Tony Vakka AVH

I don’t want to know your name 

As long as you don’t ask for mine,

Unnamed boy.

Attractive foreigner,

You stare at me, 

I look at you,

Cocktails flow fast.


You approach me,

Then unbutton my shirt,

Your hand goes down fast,

My zip falls down,

On my precious body parts now,

Showing the way to paradise.


Unnamed boy.


Endless silence,

Your touch is clear,

Pressing your body, panting.

Vigorous forces opposing,

You go up, 

Gently down,

Then up again,

Choking my lips,

Uncontrollable perdition,

Forbidden moments of pleasure,

Hidden intensities,

Captivating smiles.


Lord of sin.

Deep eyes.

Stolen kisses.

A primal shiver,

A snapping of the senses,

You quickly leave,

Buckling your belt up.



We are now two strangers again

Like so many other times,

Sipping from the glass,

Next to each other,

You hardly look me in the eyes,

Staring at my turgid nipples.


Surely your thoughts are with me.

I know what you like!

I am your perdition!

I am your secret!

“Barman, the last one, please.

It’s late."

“The usual?"

“Yes, thanks!”.


July 27, 2017 - Tony Vakka AVH

I was Philip and Dominican,

And the seventeenth misfortune brought me.

A river from my master I’ve gotten,

Evil and Virtue.


Science gave me birth and Faith betrayed me.

The Kingdom abandoned,

Joy and Pain by wandering I met,

Europe, my homeland,

Son of Stars,

Studying worlds, 

My entire life I dedicated.

Darkness and Light,

Dream and Reality.


Young man of Thought, 

Martyr of Science,

Magnet of hatred and heresy,

the Universe, the Infinite and the Worlds of

Copernicus, Averroes, and Erasmus I loved,

Until the end I never abjured.

And triumphant the man on the flames,

Later the world avenged.


October 16, 2016 - Tony Vakka AVH

It’s deep winter in my heart,

It returns now, the lonely hunter,

Between us, it's an open war and no winners.


Our orgasms are now like inutile cigarette butts,

Scattered and crushed on sidewalks.

The mirrors on the ceiling reflect lost souls, no more games, 

And the fables I used to invent to help you falling asleep,

Appear faded in my dreams.


The clock ticks remind me of interminable waiting time.

And now that the split is real, 

I return to the meat market,

Prey and predator,

Caged in a game that repeats itself,

Leaving no memory.


July 25, 2017 - AVH

Show up, Sun,

Bandit of Love,

My only Lord,

Reheat my heart,

Gild my skin.


Pop up, Moon,

Round and bright,

Silent witness

Troubles and laughs,

Keep in secret.


Sparkle up, Stars,

Shine and brighten,

Steal my thoughts,

Dominate shadows,

Beautify emotions.


Blow softly, Wind,

Kiss my cheeks,

Untie the knots,

Free my soul,

Fly far away.


Pour down, Rain,

Challenge the heat,

Purify  bodies,

Wash the waste away,

Replace purity.


November 1, 2016 - AVH -

I wear black, as black is separation, pain, and adversity.   

Black is the colour of the conscience in most people. 


Black is the feathers mantle of ravens in the night.   

I dress black as black is the colour of Wrath, 

the asphalt lashed by the rain and the impenetrability of the bodies.   

Black is the one of a forced solitude and waiting. 


Black is the Mystery.   


And I’m painting this room in black, the same colour as your eyes. 

We are partial clashes of a defined Time and Space with no memory.   

A key to turn and it's forever.


27 July 2017 - Tony Vakka AVH -


like the bites of your kisses and

the passion of my love.



like the fire of desire, 

I'm burning for you in.



like the velvet of these roses 

speaking for me.



like the glasses of wine 

I get lost in when you’re not here.



like the flames of Hell

I fall in when you ignore me.



like your burning skin 

under the scorching summer sun on crowded beaches.



like the colour of your full lips 

inviting sin and joy of the flesh.



like the colour of your lingerie and your lipstick

when you play easy to seduce me.



like the lacquer of your nails, 

you sink into my skin in the moments of pleasure.



like your cheeks when you lie 

saying you love me madly.


Red, purple-red, blood red ...


21 October 2016 - Tony Vakka AVH -

One day in front of the mirror I asked myself:


"Boy, where did you ever get these eyes from"?


They know about the Mediterranean and the East.

Dark as the shadows of your soul.

Deep as only the night can be.

They stare and inspect,

they seek and absorb.


So one day I asked my mother:


"Mom, where did my almond shaped eyes come from"?


Lost in her daily duties,

she answered without looking at me:


"Go and ask your father, can’t you see that they're the same his"?


So, one day, at the table,

while we were all busy with lunch,

to the amazement of those present,

I asked my father, whispering it.


He answered:


"I've gotten them from my mother along with her marked cheekbones"


I then asked: 


"Dad, where do we come from"?


My father patiently replied:


"What I know and I can say, is that they have belonged to this land for a long time.

I have no news of mixed marriages in previous generations of our family,

but it’s true, boy, they know of the East.

We all come from the East, never forget it".


Silence returned to the table,

interrupted here and there by the metallic sound of cutlery.

And while everyone looked down and continued to eat,

I couldn't stop repeating to myself:


"I come from the East".


23 October 2017 - Tony Vakka AVH


Veiled night,

Brave night,

High and timeless.


Undone the bed,

Anonymous the arms,

Panting in lost bodies,

Embrace of virtue and damnation,

Moments of power and glory,

One more time, just one, another one...


Blurred senses,

Hugs of faceless limbs,

Dark and fluffy beards,

Melted butter lips,

A beautiful act still in Time.


Veiled night,

Virility and truth on display,

Contrasts of strength and prevalence,

Dominating and then succumbing,

Endless exchange of roles.


Ban the words,

Fingers that flow,

Subsense that perception amplifies,

Tongues that act mute,

Smiles and whispers in the darkness of the room.


The wet smell of the skin,

Sliding bodies,

Beat by beat,

Absorbing sheets,

Drop by drop.


It goes crazy running the blood,

Pulsing swollen veins,

Here's the culmination of shared pleasure,

The so longed and delayed peak,

Warm shivers that seem eternal.

Silences of mute vibrations.


Veiled night,

few words now coming from the past,

Then still silence facing the ceiling,

Next to each other in a tight vice,

Rarely it's history.


No left sign,

Another night has gone,

One more faceless,

Another timeless,

A further one lost in non-memories.


Intensity of wasted moments,

Blind world that runs away fast,

Faded and distant the feelings,

Never again a firmness,

Just an act of weakness.


Broken dreams,

Time refuses and denies.

The eyelids drop at the lack of energy,

The night subsides and is now alone again.

Dark and black as only the pitch can be.


21 July 2017 - Tony Vakka AVH

"I sing the pure Love, the deep one that belongs to the soul."


The boy said so to the girl. She had eyes only for him.

Brown curly hair framed his face, while intent on trying her the notes of a melody.

With his dark eyes and amber skin, his marked eyebrows and penetrating gaze, he made the atmosphere irresistible.

He showed pearls at every opening of his lips. The stamp of his deep and calm voice aroused trust.

The girl would have offered him herself, without hesitation or reticence.

Getting lost in each other’s body with no limits.

Then he took the guitar standing near the rock and began singing under the light of the summer night and the sound of the sea:


Dance, dance with me on the waves,

Dance, dance with me on the wet sand,

Dance, dance for me to my heart. 


The lights and the shadows, tamed by the flame of the small bonfire, it exalted the mystery and the beauty of the young man as in a Caravaggio’s masterpiece.

The freshness of his skin and lips tempted the girl who, after having danced for him, she laid herself down next to him and, unable to look away from his gaze, she smiled invitingly.

The boy bent himself over her and staring intently at the girl in the eyes, he touched her cheeks and kissed her.

His hand wrapped her hips and time stopped on those honey lips.

They made love.

A prolonged, young and intense night.

Then, finding themselves in each other's arms, the boy's cheek on her breast and her hand in his curls, the silence of the night pervaded the island.

None of them tried to break that spell.

And, when the moon was close to falling, the boy reluctantly said:


"My name is Uriel and I am one of the seven angels. In a little while, I’m going to wear my wings, flying away right after, but if you wish, I will wait for you at every summer solstice on the beach near the cave, on this desert island.

I play for you and you will sing your tune, I’m not going to resist you, naked soul."


"I am Leucosia, my beloved, one of the sirens, daughter of Acheloo and my mother is the muse Tersicore.

In a little while, I’ve to take off the sea and, if you wish, I will come back here at every summer solstice.

I will sing for you until death if necessary."


A tear rasped the mermaid's face, she kissed the angel on his lips and darted away and braved the waves.

The angel followed her from the top up to the horizon, then turned into the infinity of the sky, fading lightly among the white clouds.


August 4, 2017 - AVH -

Gypsy heart,

You wander alone,

Swaying among fresh smiles,

And no regrets.


You promise, 

You never keep,

Staring an infinite number of eyes,

Sharing and heating anonymous beds,

Bringing warmth and emotions,

where there is only desert.


You bewitch, joke, protect,

Spreading flashes of joy in gifts,

Flying on forbidden beaches,

Never a complain,

Always on a mission,

And no regrets.


Gypsy heart,

You visit shores,

Dark corners, isolated woods.

Searching, smelling and living of pleasures,

Donating and stealing light kisses,

Frivolously flying away after.


You plug the night, 

You never rest,

Exulting under the stars,

Freeing near the sea,

Running to the wind,

And no regrets.


When You think of him, 

You suddenly stop,

Your heartbeats slow down.

Then sighing.

Hiding melancholy moments.

Inhaling air,

‘He is the danger', you think.


You run and fly far away,

Further and further,

Further again,

Your skin shivering,

One more body, 

then another one

One more again,

And no regrets …


Maybe one day

He will face you decidedly:

'Gypsy heart,

Will you stop?


August 1, 2017


Come with me,

I will take you to a corner of Paradise,

A source is there,

Where the water rises from a white rock,

Fresh and rigorous.


The mountain is high,

The climb is tiring,

The sun beats hard in this season,

The surrounding life compensates for the effort.



come with me,

Give me your hand, 

I’ll show you from up there,

A new water coming down the slope.

It will free you from anguish, 

Bringing you serenity.


Now that we are here,

And you have wet your lips,

You are even more beautiful,

The squirrels surround and worship you,

Unfair competitors,

While I am filling my eyes only of you,


Sweet smile with your hair in the wind.

Look at me for a minute, 

Just one, 

I will not ask you it anymore,

Happiness and beauty of timeless moments.



My sincere love,

I will always be there for You, 

Whenever you want it.

I will return here to drink from this source,

Once more,

Once again,

Taken by its crystalline waters,

The source of lost and returning love.

Let the source of eternal love flowing forth!


You can see the valley and its lake from here,

Peace seems to reign there too,

So in my heart,

When I'm with you,

Everything suddenly stops,

The swallows chase each other in the blue sky,

It is a symphony of carrying music.



Come to me,

Take me far away, 

Teach me how to fly,

Touch me lightly,

Listen to my heartbeats,

This water is miraculous,

It stops everything that invades,

It makes my love for you magical.


Filtering through the strands of this grass carpet,

A ray of the sunlight irradiates our stolen kisses.

The four-leaf clovers are everywhere,

The daisies with which you adorn your hair, 

One by one mark the purity and intensity of your eyes.


Love me again,

I will not ask you for anything,

Love me once more,

I will never ask you for anything,

At the source of the gone and returning love,

You are the coming back Love that will never leave me again.


27 July 2017 - AVH

One by one I take my masks off for you,

So that naked and with no defence, 

You can enjoy every part of me,

Reaching my soul right after.


The first one, Pride,

It falls with the sound of the waves,

Under a magnificent veiled moon.

I will give up my shadows and silences, 

Following Lucifer in his fall.


The second one, Greed,

It drops to the purity of your gaze,

So that you can enjoy intense moments.

I will extricate myself from its superfluousness,

Taking care of every other detail.


More, the third one, Lust,

I rip it off freeing my lips,

Uncontrollable magnets,

so that surely,

I will kiss no others than yours.


With the fourth one, Envy,

I exceed half of them, 

I can now smell the light scent of your skin,

I will not fall into its vortex,

Clearing myself from it, 

I promise, 

I swear it!


We are at the fifth one,

I am now the target of your attention, 

Here is Gluttony, 

I will keep my commitment,

I will nourish myself sparingly,

while I’m feeling your touch,

it goes straight where it should not.


Now the sixth one, ready, 

Tinkling at your sweet words,

It falls crashing under your breath, Wrath. 

Serenity and tranquillity replace it.


The seventh one, the last,

Like the seven deadly sins,

Shattering one by one,  

It leaves me without protection, Sloth.  

I turn from a predator into a prey.

Happy to be yours without any second thoughts,

Finally relieved from my previous life - boredom.


I am now in the front of you, 

Without any screen,

Nothing left in my defence

I am offering myself to you, 

I feel your hugs overwhelming me.


Succumbing has never had a more drowning pleasure,

While I suffocate pleasantly under your kisses, 

My only desire.

Kiss me, kiss me again, 

kiss me endlessly...


AVH - 20 November 2015

You can't stop crying, 
He left You, 
He'll not be back,
He turned your blue eyes
into vivid red...


You can't stop crying, 
He's my friend, 
He left You in pain,
He hurt your feelings,
You've run into my arms.


You can't stop crying,
Your face on my chest,
No sound from my lips, 
Just a cold hug from me,
My rigid stuck body.


You can't stop crying, 
You asked me questions,
Dead words down my throat,
He chose another love,
Instead, you're snatching my soul, 

while thinking:

"He's my only Love!"


by AVH - 29 October 2017

Run, run, boy ...
The  hawk is flying high,
The sky in Your eyes,
No lies in Your heart.
Your bare feet on the grass,
Music beats into Your headphone,
Minty fragrance all over the park.

Run, boy, run...
The sun is chasing You,
No regrets in Your mind,
Your tears are drying fast,
Trees show You the right path,
An iPhone in Your hand,
Hold it tight.

Run, run, boy...
He doesn’t deserve You,
You had no choice,
You see no future now,
Better time will follow,
Threatening clouds approaching,
No fear on Your face,
Only pride in Your gaze,
Follow the birds,
They Love You.

Boy, run, run...
Here’s the heavy rain,
Leaving marks on Your skin,
like heavy hailstorm bullets,
Don’t stop,
Your husky dog is with You,
He’ll never leave You alone,
Freezing the danger,
With the blue of His eyes.

Run, boy, run straight...
The past is behind,
You’re dreaming of Him now,
face on His chest,
Entrust Your slashed soul,
Bleeding eyes to the wind,
It’ll take care of it,
It’s blowing softly,
Delivering Him Your message,
A delicate touch of Freedom.

Run, boy, run faster,
The snow is coming down,
Dancing flakes lighter than feathers,
Your bearded man is waiting for You,
His white house is on the hill,
Waves against the cliff,
Symphony for His ears,
The fireplace is still on,
Mandarin peels on the fire,
Citrus scent all over the room,
His thoughts are with You,
So His heart.

Run, boy, run...
The butterflies are speaking of You,
Using Their moody colors code,
Flowers are newly born,
Spring is taking over again,
There’s a new life all around You,
Your eyes can’t get enough of it,
Dance with them.

Sit, boy, sit now and breathe,
You’ve just gone through the stages of life,
Your soul is now reborn,
New freedom,
New begin,
New feelings,
All around You, 

It smells great.

Sit on the grass,
Stare at the sea,
The sound of the Mother is everywhere,
Look far,
Look higher,
You can now,
Stars will shine soon on the top,
You’re one of those dots,
Must open Your heart,
Breathe deeply and smile,
The peace You deserve is finally here.

A THINKING MIND - (Somewhere on one of the parallel worlds of the Universe)

AVH - 23 August 2015

Seeing You after so many years, it hasn’t  been a good idea, poisoned words from your gun, old scars reopened … 

I don't need your absolution, you're trying to make me feel guilty, I'm stronger now, nobody is allowed to go into my private, you don't make an exception. I expected a warm hug and a full smile. Sometimes it's better to keep memories where they belong, to the past. Some people get better and better with the years. Some remain stuck on their resentment, they've never sorted it out. They hardly stand up again from their fails. I was reluctant to come and meet you, skeptical about the result, unfortunately, I was right, I’d have preferred to be wrong though.

I left behind my gods and my demons, a while ago, believe me, life it’s great without them as human nature is full of resources and happiness. 

Freedom smells so good, I’m a fluid soul now, a kissing soul, a free soul, a pure soul and I can see the whole sea, the whole stars inside me, and it sounds great. My life is much more interesting inside my head. If it’s true we come from the sea and before from the sky, it explains it all. I don't need any god to enjoy the beauty around me, even if we do our best to mess it up. Life smells so good. Smiles fill me up too. Hugs are the cure for my soul when it seems lost. Music is the sound of my intimacy,  can I deserve more? 

I’ve achieved a lot, still have my say on this small, blind, beautiful world and I'll never stop. 

I was a small town shy boy from the heart of the mediterranean sea, curious as hell. Life took me everywhere else I could imagine. Languages are not a barrier anymore. I’ve traveled half of the world and I’ve seen rich and poor people, the less they have got, the more they are keen to share. I’ve learned a lot.  Nothing, I say nothing, it has made me happier than a night on a desert beach with my soul touched by the stars and the unmistakable smell of the sea. 

If freedom had ever had a smell, It’d have been the one from the sea. Therefore I’ve inhaled it so deeply and I’ve stored it inside me, so I could take it out when I missed and I needed, so I could feel it. And so if freedom had ever had a sound, it’d have been the soft one of light waves on the rocks, as It joins to peace and serenity of the spirit.

And now the moon, She has always been the witness of all lovers' promises and also the bad happening. She seems to show some moody colors sometimes, from yellow to red, from white to blue or just hiding


by a veil in other occasions. There’s always a lot left to be achieved, ‘till our last day, we never stop, I’ll never stop, as most of it, it's still inside us all ready to be discovered.

Will & Soul aren’t two separate entities, but together they make an entity alone, a fantastic new human being.





AVH - 12 August 2017

I don't need to go to Florence,

Here's  Michelangelo' masterpiece, 

On the front of me, my pleasant torture. 

Every inch of His silky skin,

Speaking of Beauty.


Tall, handsome, elegant man.

Every single hair of His dark beard, 

It has been brushed by Raffaello, 

One by one...perfection!

Pure balanced mix of cuteness and masculinity,

Dark deep eyes that never look around, 

Following down His towel in His hands, 

Busy on drying every inch of His fine skin,

Speaking of Beauty.

His clothes are not fashionable, 

Baggy jeans, His body shape still blinking,

Wet hair, the right frame for His shining eyes,  

I can't stare at Him,

but one day, perhaps,

I'll call Him by name.

Most of the days I see Him naked,

far from vulgarity,

He deserves a magazine cover,

He isn't a man of everyone's dream,

lost in His daily duty.

I can't stare at Him,

Those few seconds when I'm walking in,

He'd make my day with just one smile,

all around Him it suddenly disappears,

It'd not make sense anymore, 

With that every inch of His smooth skin,

Speaking of Beauty.


He isn't everyone's dream,

He's my secret dream.

FLYING BOY - (Vauxhall Moon)

AVH 9 August 2017

Flying boy, 

Your texts keep me busy, 

Meeting you at Victoria station, 

Our smiles bring an empty cafe to life,

Plaza Hotel's white sheets wrapping.


Flying boy, 

Honey lips, unnumbered kisses,

Your Slovenian pale skin,

Your lean body, 

Uncontrollable touch,

Rolling hugs then silence, 

Sweet sweating, 

Firm bodies.


Flying boy, 

It's midnight, 

Hard  to leave your bed, 

Washing each other's warm bodies,

Wet kisses,

Running water, 

Even the tube looks brighter, 

Thinking of you. 

Finally Vauxhall station, 

A rounded and high moon in the sky, 

Waiting for me in her blue lake. 

My way home tastes of a sparkling air,

Hot August summer.


Flying boy, 

Youth and energy mix,

Tomorrow's another day, 

You'll forget about your bearded man, 

His trained body and his dark eyes, 

I'll never forget, instead, 

the Vauxhall blue moon,

In her blue lake,

Speaking of you!


AVH - 10 February 2016

How beautiful seeing the early morning light,

Opening the curtains while welcoming the new day,

Touching the floor with my naked feet, 

my undies, my sleepy eyes. 

Messy hair, scruffy me!

The coffee fragrance from the Moka filling the whole flat up, 

Thinking How lucky I’m while enjoying

 and appreciating little things in life,

All I need it's your cute smile bringing joy to my soul.

It'd be a perfect day!


AVH - 23 December 2015

And Fedora said after a deep breath:


"Years of texts exchange turned a boy in

a young man and He was now behind the door,

a wet blonde Angel in his working blue suit, 

his sticky white shirt and his broken umbrella 

Windy storm and nasty rain outside, 

He kissed me on the cheek before I let Him through the door. 

I wasn't able to say  a word, 

I couldn't think anything appropriate to say, 

just a smile …

Silence all over the place. He smiled me back with

his blue eyes and his shyness.

I was embarrassed, He was too.

Sweet fantasies on that pale, smooth skin.

His visible hard nipples through the wet shirt.

I don’t think I had ever seen such a beautiful young man on the front of me before.

Suddenly the whole experience and confidence of a middle age classy prostitute vanished in few seconds. 

I had to be careful not doing anything wrong. I felt like at my first experience, like I was still at school with my first boyfriend."


Marta stood in the front of her, speechless and with a touch of envy.


Fedora added:


"I helped Him taking his shirt off, then his belt.

  He was now in his boxers with a visible bulge, 

  sat on the edge of the bed, staring my breast with his big blue eyes.

  I went closer to him, then I hugged Him so tightly that even with my closing eyes,   

  the picture of him didn’t leave me for a second.

  Two minutes later I was laying on him lost into the pleasure of lust."


  Marta dropped her jaw instantly, then She said something: 


"Fedora, what's His name?"


  Fedora ignored her question and She carried on describing the boy's body parts. 

  His blinking body on the white bed and his soft curly hair.


And Fedora added:


 "I passed him the towel and a glass of water and after I tried to stand up and leave the bed saying something.

  Ben stopped me and hugged me. My face was now on his chest. The silence was our Music. 

  We didn’t need any, words either. 

  I don’t know if I fell asleep for few minutes on his torso, I don't remember it. 

  What I do remember it’s the peace and the serenity of our souls and that warm body."


  And Marta asked: 


"Are You going to see Him again?"


  And Fedora carried on: 


"Suddenly He woke me up with a kiss. He gave me a hug. 

  He left the bed and in few seconds He had all his clothes on again, 

  I took Him to the door and He kissed me again on my face cheek with his umbrella in      one hand and his shyness, 

  He disappeared through the lift.

  Marta, I guess I’ve answered Your question.

  Angels appear and disappear, They never stay.

  They leave a touch of Beauty and Happiness.

  They give you a taste of how Love and Beauty of the soul should be. It doesn’t matter who You are. 

  They are interested in that pure side of the soul You often forget to show when it’s required. 

  It's inside us all. It’s the child She never grows up. 

  She stays there inside You ready to be discovered and released.


  Marta didn’t move, not  one word came out from her lips, her attention was now all on Fedora 

  who suddenly picked up her own hair in a bun.

  Then She smiled ...


  And the prostitute said, ending, tilting Her head slightly and staring at a point in the void as to summon a session of body-to-hand:


- I shelter souls. Lost souls of outcasts, bandits and loneliness sufferers, 

   but also the unworthy and the without hope ones, 

   those lost forever through the dark and atrocious existence path. - 
And again:
"I don't go with the flow. 
I always follow my heart and I come with imperfections. 
I'm often wrong of course,
but I'm still paying for that. 
I respect people privacy and I know when I've to step back. 
It took me a lifetime to learn it and I'm still doing it. 
We are all different,
some nice, some a bit less,
but still persons.
You can't always take from people,
as It'll be your turn right after. 
Those ones with huge Ego usually bore me quickly. 
Instead, I find interesting the more vulnerable ones.
Those who have a baggage and something to say,
a passion and an interest in their life. 
A nice conversation in front of a cup of coffee/tea can't be replaced by texts: never!
I'm old-fashioned about it,
but I don't mean I don't like technology, I love it.
On the other hand, its disproportionate use can cause addiction and loneliness. 
Better not to lose contact with the real world and nature. 
A walk on the beach with your best friend (and/or the dog), it's priceless!" ​


15 January 2017 - Tony Vakka AVH

And then You arrived,

Without a warning,

As a warm sunbeam,

Invading my life and shaking my lonely heart.

"I didn't expect that!"


You conquer me with your texts,

Hugs and kisses, in the early morning and at night.

Your delicate pale skin is like a kid's one,

Blue eyes and a heart as big as a house.


You ignore my wrinkles and fill me up with tenderness.

I didn't plan that dammit!

I know I can't resist your attention,

I am going to surrender.

Am I doing it wrong again?

"But if so, let it be!"


You, the last great present among my hard life …

"Damn it!"  It's already too late.

"But if so, let it be!"


You have made inroads into my heart with Your genuine hidden side,

your youth and your white boxers.

Suddenly I see my defensive walls collapsing, one by one,

The river of kisses I have for You flooding this room 

The endless joy of two kids’ souls hugging...


I love when You smile,

Closing your  eyes,

Love the heady scent of your skin,

Your flat stomach,

And also when You're worried about me,

Having You tightly in my arms,

Your face cheek on my chest,

It’s Paradise.


You, pure soul, 

Soul to be protected at all costs,

I see your smile while You feeding the park geese, 

although I am not with You.

Thank You, my young lover, for this priceless gift.


AVH - 10/04/2016

Dreaming of having feather wings,
Seeing myself from the sky,
My respect is growing,
Your smile is killing me.
Stubbed by the sound of Your words,
Can't feel my hands on my face.
I'm still here and it hurts,
Your ice eyes are freezing me.
Can't recognize You,
You're leaving and
No sound from my lips when I say:

LIFETIME - (Denied Love) -

AVH - 21/05/2016

I’ve ridden for hours in the pouring rain without stopping 
and then I've fallen exhausted on the sand,
I'd do it again.
I’ve danced shirt off among the lasers of the clubs waiting for the sunrise
but my inside anger didn’t leave me for a minute, 
I'd do it again.
I’ve dreamt of white nights under the lights of the stars 
and the smell of the sea with my hand in Your hand,
I'd do it again.
I’ve loved a thousand times with no reserves, 
fleeting moments of Beauty in bodies lost forever,
I'd do it again.
I’ve met angels with broken wings that I've sheltered in silence, 
seeing  them flying away right after,
I'd do it again.
I’ve spotted Beauty in every corner of this world, 
even where there were just rubbles,
I’d do it again.
I’ve won so many times and I've shared it, 
but happiness has always been replaced by melancholy,
I'd do it again.
I’ve lost in love, knowing that I would have lost as more involved 
and I've lost again when You came back, and I've ignored You, 
I'd do it again.
I, earth, parched and cracked by the sun, 
indifferent to your love drops, 
I wait,  however, for a tropical rain, the kind that lasts a season.
And now that my prison has got a blue grate, 
from there I can see the bright blue sky and the swallows flying away, 
while I imagine the vivid colors of flowers in Spring and the heady scent of Freedom …


AVH - 30/08/2015

How beautiful the golden age, 
Sweet talk from the sleep,
Wounds, scars, sore soul.
Foxes and horses chasing,
the beach, my husky dog,
His blue eyes through the fog..  
Dark sea, spooky sky, 
Soft sand, my bare feet, 
On the waves silver lights.
A veiled moon, far woods,
Deep horizon, flashlights, 
The rain and my purification.
Footprints left behind, 
Traces from the past, 
The sound of the night, 
Washed thoughts, missing stars.


AVH - 23/06/2013

The silence of an early morning at the bus stop, 
The light of a new day rising, 
The little dance of warm colored leaves reaching the ground, 
Busy people on their phones going to work,
Kids in their school suits. 
Fall is here with its special light,
Witness of how fast time is running 
And turning lost Summer days in melancholic memories.
Crisp light wind on the face, 
Winter is getting ready, 
Scarfs and hats on the way soon…
A repeating circle, ancient rite.

ULUWATU, Bali - (Where Love Ended)

11 August 2015 - Tony Vakka AVH

I get drunk with you by the sea, 

I get sunk into the blue of your eyes,

Waves, waves, waves.


I get the delicate sound of white bubble against the rocks, 

Infinite stars like LEDs on the top, 

Magic Bali.


You drove me all around up to the North, 

The mystery of the lake,

Temples and the beautiful rice terraces,

The running water sound everywhere, 

Carved woods.

Temples, temples, temples…


You're distant and foreign

Not one kiss, not one touch,

Released by that and loving my sarong.


You carry on talking and no soul in your words,

How can our love perish in a such an enchanting place?

Locals blessed me by the sea sticking rice grains on my temples,

Polite smiles back from a no believer. 


I’m missing  London, 

It’ll not be easy to accept a fail, 

No one, no one is irreplaceable,

Just wasted time, future memories.

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